Feb. 18th, 2009

dieselsandwich: A picture of me with purple hair (Default)
One of my housemates has been seriously hostile lately. Everything I do is wrong somehow or subject to snarky asinine comment these days. I get why it is. He doesn't like change and things are changing a little. We're not necessarily as close as we used to be and my attention isn't all on him like it was when all of us moved in at first and only had each other.

This is sort of the natural effect of having a partner move in, but his response hasn't been to try to set up more things for us to do. It's to be a hostile ass with me. The worst part is, we even fucking talked about this and he brought up his concerns and worries. I made huge compromises, telling him stuff about me that very few people know so he could know why I'd been so withdrawn and hurting lately.

But still I get the snark. Still I get the insults. Still he's being hostile when I just want to get to fucking school or get through the day. I don't need that shit in my fucking home. This is where I live. It's supposed to be a safe place, not a place where I'm constantly getting verbally attacked because he thinks its funny or is pissed off with me.

I've told him about this shit. I've told him I don't appreciate it and I'm tired of it. I've told him that I didn't like it when we were in the dorms and I don't like it now.

Me and Lee had left out some dishes by accident and we didn't realize they were ours. He showed us that they were and we apologized and handled them. Then he decided to say, "yeah, we aren't your cleanup crew" and I was like, "I'm aware of that, I never asked you to be."

He says he said the comment to explain why he didn't put away our dishes, which is a "what the fuck" moment in and of itself as it's been abundantly fucking clear in this house that people put their own dishes into the sink. I even have a persistent reminder in my calendar program from a previous fucking conversation with him about the dish issue.

And even if that was the way he meant it? It still came off as a hostile verbal poke, after we had fucking apologized and after Lee had cleared the dishes already. It wasn't fucking necessary to further rub our faces in it and that is exactly how I (and I assume Lee, based on the short talk we had before I left for school) saw it.

I ask him why he felt it necessary to fucking poke us after we had apologized and he pulls out this explanation bullshit and proceeds to bitch me out for having a problem with it. It finally ends with him realized that I felt like he was being hostile and a jerk and him pointing out that he doesn't give a shit how I felt about it.

So I basically told him, "fine, you don't give a shit that I think you were a hostile ass for no good reason and you don't give a shit about how I feel. We'll leave it the fuck at that." and I stormed off when he parked the car. I have a class with him in a half hour and I'm still upset.

I dunno. I'm starting to regret moving in with someone like him. I thought he'd be less of an asshole in a living space or that he'd calmed down a little after leaving the dorms. But it seems like his only way to deal with situations he doesn't like is to be a complete douchebag to everyone around him.

I'm fucking tired of it and I'm really wondering sometimes if this is a good place for me to live in.

...o_O

Feb. 18th, 2009 09:08 pm
dieselsandwich: A picture of me with purple hair (Default)
I can't seem to stop shaking. It isn't a bad shaking, although it makes it hard to walk straight, but it isn't terribly pleasant either. I dunno if it's the massage chair being on too long, or anxiety from this awful nasty rough week or too much caffeine or something

But whatever the hell is causing me to shake so much, I'd appreciate it stopping now. Thanks.

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dieselsandwich: A picture of me with purple hair (Default)
Sophia Lafergola

October 2010

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